FUCK

baileifredthegreat:

Does anyone else just feel lonely for no reason? Like you just feel it and it won’t go away and it makes your chest hurt. Its weird that emotional pain can feel  physical.

I feel it all the time

I wish I could be what everyone wanted. I wish that everyone could see I try so hard to put other people first, I try to the best I can be, I really try to love everyone I come into contact with. I try to make them feel genuine because everyone is in some way. But sometimes I can’t help it, people are so shitty lately and I wish I knew why, I wish I could see why so then it wouldn’t hurt so bad and could understand, accept, and forgive. But it isn’t that easy, I can’t make people not be shitty but I can try to forget about them. I just need someone and I keep getting betrayed by people I think I can trust. Is it worth it? Should I try to let new people in? I don’t know the answer to my problems. I wish they’d disappear. I feel like they are minor, but truthfully they add up to be this giant rain cloud that is constantly rains on me. I can’t be consistent in enjoying the rain or letting it hide my tears. I am not crying out for help but I am crying out for someone to sit with me silently and make me feel worth their trust. I need someone, anyone. Even just to look into my eyes and see I’m not entirely okay and hug me, those seconds of recognition would renew me. Please save me with your empathetic yet silent understanding. Please. Please. Maybe I should just go into hibernation. Why should anyone take time out of their day to make mine better? I feel like I am just talking to myself. Don’t pity me if you’ve read all this. I’m sorry.